Visceral Impulses during the Bird Breakfast

Dulcid, as the last flickers of the Western candle fade away... back in the fog , my mind reving at a lower R.P.M. , out of tune. The Ceylonese carrot dangles as the donkey days approach.
Another year strolls by, more windows of bright sparkle amidst the black canvas of the Third World. Six to be exact. Unemployement , stultifying the cells, is more altered perception due ; instilling inane laughter, the euphoric tonic of the CNS ?

A state of mind insued by an unemployed penis. Sexuality stagnant .... mentally undressing what ?
Where is that slot, the heterosexual crease of peace ? The dryest year in the bush so far , if / when torrid rain should fall again, run for the rubber shelter....

Flight 100 - JFK to LHR

Aug.7/1989.

Flight 100 was the second leg of my journey from L.A. to London. Having been awake through the night and in the time zone warp, i decided that it was time to crack the seal on my bottle of Bacardi 151 and see what it had to offer.

(Bacardi 151 is a 75.5% proof rum, not for the faint-hearted. It has ''Caution-Flammable" written on its label, is only available in certain countries due to its excessive alcholic content, and is referred to as ''Satan's Piss'',"Rocky Mountain Bear Fucker", and ''Flaming Cock Smack'' amongst many other monikers. Drinking it neat from the neck is lethal as I discovered ! See Drinksmixer.com for 254 drink recipes !! I recommend at least 3 long drinks mixed with tonic or half a bottle if u can handle it... )

As usual a boring flight, shitloads of grungy people, no-one worth talking to. took a large pull of the 151 and tried to converse with the sultry blonde across the aisle. Upon closer inspection, her green cat-like eyes, stiff upper lip and sallow complexion appeared like a wilted flower growing out of the dull detritus that surrounded me. i soon gave up and put her down to being English ! Thought: are her lower lips stiff too ? Perhaps i should have realized that from her semi-anaemic pallor i should have known better, but instilled with 3 weeks of Los Angelican cheer and the 151, i persevered a little further.
Thought: ''I'd like to ream her till her eyeballs popped out''. (the rum begins to speak here...) as she languidly flipped through her Chekov reader, i thought that my opener, ''Do you have any toothpaste please ?'' would seem rather original, but to no avail.

At this point a Chino-Hispanic sidled into the last seat of the four I had secured to try and rest my now creaky, aching bones. I growled at him that i would be using all 6ft of seats after le petit dejeuner that Pan Am were shortly due to offer, and he scampered off. i decided to ignore her completely after my offer of a spalsh (splash) of the precious 151 was coldly turned down. My penis tugged slightly at the thought of what it could 'hide ' itself in.

As the rum began to slosh around my bloodstream, it had become hard to avert my sly stare. She appeared more beautiful by the half hour and i knew it would get harder to sustain my lust as it grew larger and my pen(is) more fluid. By now a wicked leer began to curl around my lips & i had to constrain a suden hysteria as a gargantuan woman waddled through the aisle presumably seeking the 'restroom' . A thyroid gland deficiency was putting it mildly, this was one big fucking human being (or two ) , a fine example of American obesity, so prevelant at the time ( junk food was large and they hadn't got anal about smoking as yet ). She twisted and turned in corpulent splendour, wobbling her large folds of flesh into various passengers on her painstaking exodus to the pan.... i began slowly nodding off.....

As the 747 hurtled its way across the Atlantic, throbbing and bucking in various air pockets and turbulence, the 151 surged through my jangled frame like a searing volt leading to eventual oblivion .....

(avoid 151 neat, especially on aeroplanes !)

Intro

This blog contains what its title above suggests. For a less literary, less alcoholic, more vitriolic, more vituperative reading experience, try The Rundaas-ramblings & diatribes.